This Broken Heart of Mine
by Mrs.E.A.Cullen-17
Summary: This is my first fanfic! It's 112 years later after Edward left Bella. Now she's a vampire and has been trying to run from her past. She finds out on the first day of school she not the only vampire in Forks. What happens? RXR BXE 4ever!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first story so... please, please, PLEASE be nice. I have no idea what most of you people like, but I will try to get something that you may like. Tell me what would make my story better. Stephaine Meyer own's the main charecters. I just own this story line. (All love Edward Cullen!!)**

**Now I'll shut my mouth and let you all read! Please Review!!**

**Chapter 1**

I am now pulling up to my new... well, semi new, house. It is forty-five minutes out side of Olympic and half an hour out of Forks, Washington. I parked my Grey Lamborghini Murcielago B360 (_**I will tell you why B360 later in the story)**_ in front of the huge garage next to my GIANT house. It has three floors just incase some vampires (human or animal drinkers) came pasting though. I try not to have any red-eyed vamps around the town so then my cover isn't blown. All togther for bedrooms, I have 9, and that includes my room on the two floors, up stairs. I also have my own office for my _'schoolwork' _or just to look for importent things on my high-tex computer.

I got out of my car, grabbing the last of my stuff, that I had just bought, and walked to the door. The outside of my house is an aqua colour with brown triming around the windows. The door is a dark brown. I unlocked the door and walked in turning all the lights on. It still shocks me when you haven't been to a place in so long.

When you walk in the first thing you see is the white grand pianio in front of the living room window looking out over my flat backyard were the river ran through the forest to the montians. The flooring on the first floor are a black and white checker pattern. To my left in the back, about three metres next to where my piano sat, is the entrance to the kitchen (that I never use) and my library, where all my favourite book are, infront of it. I have all my favourites in it like _Wuthering Heights_ and all of _Jane Austen's _books with some of my new. I was standing in the lobby but it was connected to the living room. The staircase to the second floor was to my right.

There are high pillers that are white and the walls a blackish colour like carbon. I have a white carpet in the middle of the living room with the two long, grey couches, two matching chairs, and a glass coffie table in between it all. I dropped the stuff in my arms on the bottom of the staircase and walked to one of the long couches and lied down on it. I didn't get tired like humans but I do sleep. It came from my human time. So I guess you know what I am. I'm a vampire, changed by someone who I thought was gone.

I had built this place about 72 years ago and I'm still 18. I'm a vampire that has traveled all across the world and have been alone for the past 112 years. I was changed into the very monster Edw... **HE** didn't want me to be and to make it wrose, I was changed hours after hesayed he didn't love me...

**FLASKBACK**

_**HE **__was gone. With shaky legs, ignoring the fact that my actions were useless, I followed him into the forest. I had to keep moving. If I stopped looking for him, it was over. Love, life, meaning... over. I walked and walked. Time made no since as I pushed slowly through the thick undergrowth. Maybe it felt like time had frozen because the forest looked the same no matter how far I went. I stumbled often, and, as it grew darker and darker, I fell often, too._

_It was so dark; I tripped over something, most likely my own feet, and fell to the ground, where I stayed. I rolled over to look up at the sky and saw there were no lights, no stars, no moon … no reasons for living. I thought about what __**Edward**__ had said to me, but the pain of remembering what he had said, and even his name, was too much and pulled me under a sleeping darkness._

_The next thing I knew was that I wet, and I had a feeling that someone was watching me. Standing about ten feet away, in front of me, was, that person that I thought was long gone, Victoria. She walked slowly to me. She stopped and sat infront of me. Her eyes a cold, deadly black, wanting my blood. "Sweet little human Bella, why would you be out here all alone?" She said with her evil smile on her face. I didn't know what to say so I just sat there looking at her with wide eyes._

_" Did your sweet... Edward... leave you?" She said his name so slow I thought she would never just get it out. As soon as she said that, she knew the answer, because it was so clear on my now pained face and I had a feeling that she knew before. I would be crying hard if I wasn't already. Did I really care if she killed me right now? All she wanted was me dead. I had no life anymore. It was gone with __**HIM**__. I knew Charlie, Renee, and even Phil would be dieing of worry, but I didn't have my life. It want with my heart that was his the frist time I knew I loved him. So I told her strait in her face, "Victoria... If your here to kill me then go a head and please do so now. I have nothing anymore. Just end it." I was surprised by my voice. It was so clear, but far past dead._

_Frist she was shooked but soon that disappered. I watched as she thought for a moment, looked at me like I was carzy, but then said, "No. I think I'll let you suffer. If I have to live without my James, you can live alone knowing your Edward dosen't love you for eternity." She moved the hair from around my neck while I stayed perfectly still, wide eyed, waiting for the pain, as she bit me. I felt it as so as she had her teeth on my neck. First she drank most of my blood, to satisfy her thirsted that had wanted this for so long, and then she let the venom spared. _

_She let me fall to the ground and the last thing I remembered was her flaming red hair and evil laugh as she walked away and I sunk into a painful unconsicness._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

I shock my head at the painful memories, trying to get my mind off of it all. That was 112 years ago and it still pains me the same way today like then. It was darker now and I needed to sleep for school tomorrow. I got off the couch and ran (at vampire speed) to my room on the second floor. My room was the first door on the left and had my office next to it. It has dark blue walls with blood red trimming and grey carpetting. I have a big walk-in closet that was well packed. I walked to it to get my pajamas. I couldn't belive when I had found out that I had to sleep every other day.

I think sometimes I'm part human in a way so that's why I sleep. I also think it is like one of my many powers. I can read and connect minds, copy other vampire powers, part human (so I can cry, sleep, and blush, etc), and I have a ring blast shield. My ring blast shield can protect me and who every I want from other vampires and I can literally push someone away from me or others. I think it is really cool. wait... did I just say that? Anyway, I was in my closet still trying to figure out what I was going to wear tomarrow.

I pulled out a pair of old blue jeans and a black spaghetii strap shirt and a red, button, blouse with black high heels. When I was done, I turned the lights out and crawled into my bed. As I tried to fall to sleep, I thought of when I went to high school in Forks was like back then and what this time was going to be like. I hoped it would be different then THAT!

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**THE NEXT MORNING - BELLA'S HOUSE**

I woke up at 7:30 and I had to leave at 7:40. I got dress and grabed my book bag and ran to my cars. I had brought a 2010 BMW last week for school. Of course, I added more speed to it and fit it up so I liked it a bight more, but I knew even if my car was a piece of crap, people would still see and stair at me. It's the same everywhere. I hated the new-girl attantion. It's the same wherever I move. Even some rich people still staired!

When I got to the school, everyone head's turned. I parked and got out. As soon as I was out, I saw guys were drolling at the site of me and girls starting to gossip of how many boyfriends I've had. _'Great.'_ Was all I thuoght. I walked away from the croud of guys and got in the main office. It was a little different. The walls were now a sky blue and had yellow triming. There was what looked like the same plants there from back when I was first here. A lady with blonde hair and green eyes was sitting at the old wooden desk. She was waring a orange long-sleved shirt and had her hair in a pony. I walked to the desk and waited till she saw me there.

When she looked up, her mouth fell open and her eyes went wide. I waited about 6 minutes till she snap out of her days. " Oh. I'm sorry deary. I was staring. But you are just the most beauitful little thing I have ever seen." she said with her high, english voice. I almost wanted to laugh._**( No afanse to all those out there. I love english acsents. I couldn't think of a different one though. Again... Sorry!)**_ " Hi. I'm Bella Swanson. I just moved here from Alaska." If she only knew how many times I've used **that** line. " Oh, yes. We've been expecting you. Here are you things and if you need anything, please let me know." She said with a smile. I did my best to smile back, but it ended up as a very small one. I haven't smiled seens before _**HE**_ left. I turned and walk to the door.

The door opened before I got to it and a saw the last people on this earth who would want to see me. All five of them walked in and stopped dead in their tracks. I just keeped my eyes on the floor. I listened to some of their thoughts just to see what they were thought about seeeing me here. If they thought it _was_ me.

Alice- _' oh...my...god...OH MY GOD, OH MY GODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!__**( You should know what she's saying. Sry if not.)**__ IT'S BELLA!! SHE LOOKS EVEN MORE GORGEOUS THEN A FREAKIN' MODEL!'_

Jasper- _' Is that who I think it is? God. It's been far to long. I wish we hadn't moved. But now I get to say sorry to her. It was my failed we moved because I attacked her. How stupidly useless I was back then. '_

Rosalie-_ ' God! She's so dame beauitful! Why are we just stairing at her? Someone better start talking or I'm going to do it!'_

Emmett- _BELLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAA! BELLABELLABELLABELLABELLA! MY lil sis is alive... well she's somewhat alive like us but... IT'S BELLA FOR GOD SACKS! AND DANG... SHE'S HOT!'_

I didn't hear a growl, which didn't surpire me. I didn't read _**his**_ mind knowing more then well the pain would come from my broken heart. I didn't even understand their thoughts. It had been about two minutes of pure silence and I wanted to get to class. I looked up, which I regeated instanlly because _**his**_ eyes where right in front of me but I looked down and walked past _**him**_. He was staring with wide eyes and his mouth open at me. _'Why? He didn't want me. Why was he starring at me like that?'_ Emmett stopped me from exiting the room.

"Bella. Don't go. We all need to talk. Please?" My old, small pixie like, sister said putting her hand on my shoulder. I didn't turn around but said, " Not here. Not now. Later, please?" I begged. My voice was pained and I needed to get out of here soon. They let go and I walked out of the building. Why were they here? When did they move back? What was with their thoughts and words? I was so confused. I needed to get my mind off of this before I lost my mind on my first day of school.

I looked quickly at my class sheet. I had some of the classes I had when I was human but more new once. First I had English (like in my human life), Geography, Math and Music (which all three were now my new favourites). After lunch I had Spanish then Biology. I wished with everything I had in me that I wasn't in any of their classes. Especally _**Him**_. _' Don't let me be in any of his classes, PLEASE!!'_ I said repeatlly in my head.

I walked into the farmiliar room seeing that I was late. of course. The teacher was male and had black hair with brown eyes. He looked mad before he looked me up and down. _'Great! The teacher thinks I hot too! That's all I need. My male teachers hitting on me!'_ Was all I thought as he asked for me to come to the front. I walked, not looking arond to see if the students were looking or more like stairing at me, as I got to the front. The teacher's name was Mr. Lord and had the most rediculuse smile on his face.

" Your name and tell us about your self, please?" His smile grew bigger if it was possible. I turned knowing he ment to the class. " I'm Bella Swanson and I just moved here from Alaska. I love music and to play sports. My favourite colour changes from day to day. And... My favourite animals are Grizzily Bears and Mountian Lions." I said the last part trying not to smile at how much I liked Grizzily Bears and Mountain Lions. They were my favourite to hunt for.

I turned back to the teacher to get my slip and saw his writing the things I had just said. I couldn't believe this! My English teacher was getting information about me that he didn't need to know! He saw me looking at him then and gave me my slip. "You'll have to sit next to Mr.Cullen in the back. There are no more sits for you to pick." He said it so sadly. Like he wanted me to sit in the front to look at me all class. I read his thought and they were exactly that but were just more pervertived. I cringed quickly went I got to my seat.

"Hey Bella!" I looked to my right side to see the big Grizzily-like boy next to me. He looked the same and really happy._ 'I don't get it! They left and now they're happy as hell to see me! What did I miss!'_

I turned in my seat to look him in the eyes and said, " Hello." Turning back to pay attention to the teacher even if I didn't want too. I didn't want to talk either. But appearently he felt awfully chaty.

" Oh. Don't be like that Bells. I just-" I didn't let him finish his sentence. I felt the same old tug at my heart when someone called me Bells. It was what my dad called me and I was the one who caused his death. "Emmett. Please. Don't call me that. Please?" I said in a whisper but knew he hear me.

"Bella. Why can't I call you that? What happened to make you hate Bel-" I through my hand to his mouth and made sure no one was watching us. Everyone was looking at the overhead copying the notes. I already knew them with one look into the teacher's head. I turned back to Emmett, who still had my hand to his mouth.

I closed my eyes and took my hand back. Then looked up. " I'll tell you after class ok?" still whispering but he nodded once and turn to the front. I was going to have a **very** long day.

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After the bell rang I put my books in my bag and stood, waiting for Emmett. He was looking at me then the teacher exiting the room. Then he spoke. " Okay. Now answer my questions." It was so damanding.

" After I got changed I found out about sevenly months later that I was amuned to the smell of human blood. I was so happy about that so I descided to go see how Charlie was. He had quite his job after five months of looking for me. He couldn't find any proof that I was alive. So when I saw him I thought he was having a nice dream till I saw and heared him more cleanly. He had the same dream for weeks. It was about how he would find me some day. Then it would turn into a nightmare with him finding my body in the woods or on a beach. He would wake up about three thirty in the morining. He would only get three hours of sleep then."

I was close to the tears when ever I thought about my past. I sucked in some air and tried to hurry through the story. " One night Victoria came and said she wanted me in her covern and said that she would do anything to get me in. She only wanted me for my powers. But when I said that she could go to hell, she said that was going to kill everyone I loved right infront of me so I had no one. She did just that. She was killing Charlie when I was hunting but when I got to him..." I couldn't hold the tears any more so I looked down at the floor and continued. "B-but I was t-too late." I knew we only had two minutes till our next classes started so I turned and walked out.

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After my morining classes it was finally lunch. As I was walking everyone was stairing, as usally, at me. _It feels the same as my first day here before. _I got in line to get my lunch when for the corner of my eye I saw them walking in with all their grace to the back of the line. I was glad I could get my food and then go to my car. There was no way I was going to eat somewhere they were going to be. I bought an apple with a bottle of lemonade then bolted to my car. Once inside I put my music on and turned the volume up. The car was sound proof so no one could hear outside the car. I didn't know how much more of the day I could take if I was going to have to explain to all of them my past later. I thought about what I was going to say to them and what they would think of it.

**Okay. Tell me what you think of my first chapter and I would love to have some reviews. Thanx!!**

**Peace xoxox Emily (Mrs.E.A.Cullen-17)**


	2. Chapter 2

**HEY! First... thank you to all thoughs who reviewed or put this into their Favourite/Alerts'. That means the world to me. I will explain Bella's powers more into the story and I will get the web sites for the cars and other stuff as soon as I came. Second... Sorry it took so long to get this up. At my high school, we are starting to get ready for exams (NOOOO!!) and I HAVE to start studying. Again Sry.**

**Stephaine Meyer own's the main charecters. I just own this story line. (All love Edward Cullen!!)**

**Now... to the story! Please review!**

**Chapter 2**

As I sat in my car all the thoughts of what has happened to me came rushing out of nowhere. I saw flashes of when I was still the little human that had the balance problems and cuoldn't walk on flat surfaces, me when I was a little girl growing up in to different worlds, with my mom in the sunny places and my dad in the rainy one. I quivered at the thoughts of my parents. _They had their lives and because of me they never got to live them. What a monster I am._ The same questions, from those days, were swimming in my head. _Why couldn't I have saved them? why was I that human that fall for someone who didn't want her back? Why was I so stupid?_ The sound of the class time bell brought me back to the present, which I was greatful for. Anymore of the same thoughts over and over again in someones head can be a hug pain.

I opened my eyes to see students running to their next classes through the poring rain. I quickly turned off my car, grabed m bag and went to spanish. Once in the dry classroom, I saw I was late... again. This teacher was a female with brown hair, blue eyes and was wearing glasses. she looked to be in her late forties. " thank you for joining us Miss. ?" she sounded mad so I disided not to make even more mad by saying she even more older with the old sweater with writing on it. I spoke up then when I saw her getting impassioned. "Bella Swanson. I just moved here from Alaska." She narrowed her eyes and said, " Then I insist you get to your next on time . Alright Miss. Swanson?" I just nodded. " Good. Now come up here and I'll sign your slip."

I walked up to her and waited to find out where I was sitting. She looked back up, handing me my slip and pointed to the last spot I wanted to sit. " You can sit in between Mr. Hale and Miss. Cullen.", was all she said turning to the broad again. She appearently she was going to be the one teacher that hated me. Sighing I went over to a bouncing pixie and a very clam blonde haired boy. I sat quickly opening my book to start taking notes so I didn't have to talk, but failed as soon as the teacher started talking again.

" BELLA! I'M SOOOO HAPPY TO SEE YOU AND WE HAVE A CLASS TOGETHER! YEA!" Alice whispered but was still bouncing. She hugged me and looked up at me with a smile. I tried to smile back but once again it didn't fool her. Her smile faded and her face harden. "Bella. What's wroge? Why are not happy?" She sounded a little hurt but I couldn't tell her how I really felt. "Alice. I haven't had the best day. That's all." I turned to the front like I had with Emmett. This was **definitely **not going to be a fair day. "Your lieing Bella. Look me in the eyes and say that." Alice was now mad. I could hear it.

"Alice..." I sighed but she wouldn't let me finish. "No Bella. I want to know the truth. Now!" She was almost yelling and I didn't want anymore attantion. I turned to her and whispered," Alice can you please keep your voice down? I don't want anymore attantion then what I've got. ok?" I decided to try dazzling her. Her eyes were first flaming but with one glance she was in a days. I turned and saw Jasper shooked at what I had just done. " How did you do that?" He asked still shooked at what I did to his wife. " I simple staired at her and dazzled her." was all I said before turning back to the front.

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After the bell I got up but was pulled back down into my seat with two hands on my right arm. I looked at Alice, who had what looked like a puppy pout. "Bella...", was all she said before blowing up in my face. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! THAT WASN'T FAIR!!" Now I had a pissed off pixie refusing to let go of my arm. " WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT YOUR KEEPING?!"

I couldn't take it anymore. I ending up crying and said in a small voice, " Because it hurts too much to think of the past." I looked up and she saw my crystal blue tears falling from my eyes. She was past shooked. she didn't know what to say but her hands had lossened their hold on my arm now.

I pulled away and tried to get out before they asked, but was stopped by Jasper. He looked confused and I was the only one who knew why. "Bella. Why can't I feel your emotions? Please tell me. It feels so weird and different." I didn't want to be late for biology so I said the first thing that came to my mind. " I'll tell you later, okay?" He nodded his head and said, " At our house then?" I didn't want to that because they _**all**_ would be there but I knew they would all want to know. It would be easier then telling one person after the other. So I nodded without a word and walked out.

I had to get to my last class before the bell rang and I was late again. I wipped my face off with the sleave of my jacket and breathed in some fresh air. Once I got to the too farmiliar room where this whole thing started. The pain. The suffering. The love. _No Bella. That was not love. It was hate._ Who was I kidding? Not myself was one. All I could think over and over in my head was _Please don't let __**him**__ be in there.Please don't let __**him **__be in there!_ I took a deep breath before walking in. It looked way too much the same. The desks. The walls. Even some of the students looked like people I knew!

But the one think that looked exactly the same was the bronze haired boy, sitting in that exactly same deck, from all those years back. _I can't believe this! I can't!_ At that moment I was bumped into from behind me. I turned to see the old man who was, my guess, the teacher. He was carrying a big box that was half the size of him. "Sorry. I didn't see you there." He said before setting the box down. I hear a crack from his back. It sounded really painful and I felt sorry.

"Now..." He said leaning back up. " You are?..." He fixed his glasses to see me more clearly with his brown eyes. "I'm Bella Swanson. I just moved here." All I could think was he's in so much pain. "Oh... yes. I hear you were coming. I think Mrs.Droll, from the office, put you on my attendance at lunch hour." I tried to smile at him and at the sametime the same thought of his pain was in my head. "Alright. Now to get this in the classroom." he said with a smile. I couldn't let him hurt him self any more then he was already. " No. Here. I'll do it." I said putting my bag on top of the box and made it look like it was somewhat heave. " Oh. Aright then." He said leading me into the class.

Everyone was talking as the teascher got to the front. I put the box on the desk with a huff to make a show that made me look human. "Thank you Miss. Swanson. Here is your book and where is you slip?" I handed my slip to him and waited till he said to sit where I didn't want to. " You'll have to sit next to Mr. Cullen there. There are no more spots open." I said my thanks and walked over to my old desk.

I sat and looked at the front like I had done in all of my classes today. I didn't want to hear his velvet voice, but appearently that didn't matter today. " Bella. Is it really you?" I didn't turn when I hear his whisper but used one of my powers.

_" Edward... Please don't talk out loud. I don't want everyone looking at me."_

_"__**Bella. Please can we talk?" **_He was asking me?! Why?

_" No. I don't want to talk to anybody. Not now. Not today anyway."_

_**" Why not today Bella? What happened on today that made you not want to talk to anyone?"**_

_" It's none of your business right now. Just leave it at that ok?"_ I didn't care if his was going to say 'no'. I wasn't going to tell him right in the middle of class. I would for sure brust out crying. But his answer sirprised me.

_**" Alright."**_ I turned to look at him and said in a whisper, " Thanks." and turned back to the front till class ended.

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As soon as the bell rang I was out of my seat and out the door before any of the other students could. I quickly got to the parking lot and got in my car, not wanting any of them to follow me, and sped out onto the highway. I was going home first to get ready for tonight and to visit someone every special to me from my past.

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Once I got home, I went stright to my room. I didn't know how long I was going to be with the Cullens but I had to make one stop before going anywhere else. I went to my closet to get a black mini skirt and a white tube top. I also grabed my favouite black high heels and black leather jacket. My heels went up above my knees and they were great riding boots. After getting my out fit on I went to my office to get one of the white roses I had on my desk. I did this every year, like a promise to someone I loved so much. I went to my garage to get one of my bikes. I had two motorcycle for when I didn't want to uses my cars.

I had booted the cars speed so I did the same for my bikes. The first one was my favourite. It was a silver 2008 Suzuki GSX-R1000 but I changed it to BMS-Suzuki. I thought it has a nice ring to it (BMS does stand for my full name). My other bike used to be a black 2007 Yamaha FJR 13AEWS but that's just a mouth full. So now it's just B.BMS-Yamaha. _**( I will also tell you why BMS and B.BMS Later.)**_

I parked my BMW in the garage, naxt to my B360 and got on my B.B _**(Shot form for her B.BMS-Yamaha.)**_. As soon as I hit the dute road that took me to Forks again, I was at 150 mph already.

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Soon I pulled up to the gate of _'Forks Cemetery'_ to visit someone. I walked through the all too farmiliar spot I kneeled down to read the lettering on the gravestone like I always do. I had to wipe the surface because it was covered with dirt and mud... like always. Now with the mud off I could read all the words and even see every little stone in the larger one. I had memorized these words, but when I would visit, I would read it over and over again. Written on the stone was...

_Chief Charlie Swan_

_1966-2005_

_A great man, friend and_

_beloved father._

_Will always be missed._

I could never believe, even after all these years, that he was gone. And to think it was all my falt. I've always had a thought that I shouldn't even come here and start talking to him as if he was standing right in front of me but I couldn't stop myself. He was my dad. I have a right. But then when I looked to the left of his stone, there was my small stone with...

_In memory of_

_Isabella Marie Swan_

_1987-2005_

_A Beloved friend and daughter._

_One hell of a young women._

I always laugh at the last part. I think that was what Charlie had put on. Most likely _**after**_ my mother had lefted. I looked back at Charlie's stone and placed the white rose on top. Now was the I-look-like-an-idiot part. I started talking to him.

" Hey daddy. Long time no see. Sorry about not coming here more often, but I think one visit a year is good. so how are you doing? what's it like in heaven? I know your up there because you were always the _'do-gooder' _?"

I was on the brink of tears again. _What is it with today? I've cried too many times in one day. It's not far!_ I continued to talk. " Anyway. I started school again. I know how you used to be with me having a good education. I'm back at Forks High. Just like in the old days." By the end of saying this, what I had said was just a whisper. I had to stop soon before I regretted it. I signed loudly and got up. If I wanted to get tell-the-Cullens-everything over with I had to go now.

Whispering I said," Bye dad. See you next year." With that said, I kissed my hand and placed it on the surface of his stone. After, I quickly walked back to my bike and got out of there before anyone saw me. What seemed like minutes, I was pulling up to the large-white mansion with the large lawn, that I thought was a small meadow the first time I came here. I parked my bike behind Emmett's red jeep and got off.

I soon hear I high pitch scream. I turned in alarm to see a bouncing pixie on the front porch. I side stepped away from my bike knowing that Alice would most likely charge at me in seconds. As I thought of this she ran at full speed at me and pounced. We landed on the gravel thrity feet away from my bike. I still don't know how she hides all this energy till she's home. After finally stopping Alice looked up at me with her still black eyes. _When was the last time they when hunting?_ She smiled and spoke in a blur.

" HeyBella.Sorryaboutafterclass.I'msooohappytoseeyourokay!Yourokayright?" _**(OK this is what she said... "Hey Bella. Sorry about after class. I'm sooo happy to see your okay!Your okay right?" Sry I had to do that at less once in this story.)**_ I looked at her until I got what she had said. "Yea. I'm okay. And you don't have to apologize for that. It's just been a crying day that's all." I smiled to make her see I was fine, but Alice being Alice, she saw right through it. Her face fell into a frown and her eyebrows creased. " What are you lieing about? ...or hiding?" Before I could lie through my teeth, she was riped off of me and I was pulled into a bear hug. **Literally!**

" Hey Bella! I missed ya. I know we're in the same english class but I still did. It hasn't been the same without you." Emmett said spinning around with me in his arms. I would have gottin dizzy if I was still human. Well... all human that is. Emmett finally stopped and set me on my feet again andsmiled down at me. I did a little smile up at that big brother I never got. I was going to turn around when someone snuck up behind me. " Hey Bella." I almost screamed to hear Jasper so close but spun around with wide eyes and my mouth shut tight. He started chuckling until he saw my new face. I gave him one of my diedly glares and then his eyes wide while stepping back.

My face truned into a smile and then I spoke." What Jax. Did I scaried you?" He saired at me for a minute and then responded. " No. Your diedly glare scaried me." He said smiling. I walked over to where he was standing and said, " Well I'm sorry. But that's why you don't sneck up on me. Now where's my hug?" saying the last part in an upset tone. He pulled me in a hug laughing. I never did get to hug Jasper when I was a human. It seemed so weird. I pulled away to see Alice smiling. I read her mind to see why.

Alice- _'Jazz looks so happy right now. He has been beating himself up ever since her birthday. It good to see him smile after so long.'_

I thought about what she was saying. _Jasper was blaming himself for what happened? Not after I'm through with him! _I looked at Alice then at a still smiling Jasper and back. "Jasper? Have you been blaming yourself for what happened?" I had a hard face on so he wouldn't know how that hurt me and how it angeried me at the sametime. He looked at me in confusion, but figured it out on his own. He looked away just like what Cullens do when they didn't want to answer someone.

I just keeped looking at him until I knew he wasn't going to answer me. So I continued. " Because you shouldn't. It's hurts Alice, Jasper. She hates seeing so..." I looked for the right word. "... hateful towards yourself and it hurts me." Now he was looking at me. So was Emmett and Alice for that matter.They had no clue what my my powers were. " Please don't blam yourself, okay?" Jasper was out of it for a few more minutes till he nodded his head. I smiled up at him to show I was happy with his answer. " Good. Now I can yell at you for even thing it was your falt! Got it?! " I yelled but I had a feeling no one but us hare me.

They all looked at me and my sudden mood swing. All jasper did was nodded his head again but in fear. " Good." was all I said to him. " Now I believe you want me to tell you all what happened after you left, corrected?" Alice finally broke their silance. " Yea. That was one of the reason we wanted you to come here." Her voice had turned for scaried to happy within seconds. She ran at me grabbing my hand and pulled me into another hug, without us on the ground. With that siad she pulled Jasper, Emmett, and I to the door and into the lobby.

**Okay... What do you think? I am very sry for not writing faster. A girl came only type so fast though! So Please review and to give you all a hint to what happens next There's... happy moments, sad moments, tears and more. Bella will tell all to the Cullens. So if you want to know what has happen to Bella in the 112 years... REVIEW! Thanx!!**

**Peace xoxox Emily (Mrs.E.A.Cullen-17)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey all you out there! I'm Sooo sorry I haven't updated lately. But first... Once again a big thanx to all those who reviewed. You all are AWSOME!! Okay so here's why I haven't upldated in so long. I have dail-up and it takes FOREVER to load, even a chapter, and I've been working and going to funerals that have happened in my family but I am very sorry for taking so long. But NOW school's about to start up again (ARUG! I HATE HIGH SCHOOL SOMETIMES!) and I don't know when I'll be able to update again if it's the last thing I do! Anyway, I hope you all like this chap. Sorry again.**

**(I HATE DAIL-UP!!)**

**Stephaine Meyer own's the main charecters. I just own this story line. (All love Edward Cullen!!)**

**Please review!!**

**Chapter 3**

The inside of the house looked exactly the same from when I first came here. The cream white walls to the beautiful staircase still just as elagent as before. The one thing that cought my eyes was where the grand piano sat now the piano with a white sheet over it. And is that dust I see on it? Esme had the rest of the house sparkling from where I stood.

_Why was the piano covered? And why hasn't Emse done her always cleaning frunsy on it?_ This really confused me but I knew it had somethiung to do with me. Alice had stopped pulling me into the house and was watching me. She saw where my eyes had been a moment ago, but she quickly looked towards the kitchen.

Jasper spoke out sence no one else had yet. "Esme. Could you come here for a moment please?" He said no more then a whisper.

I could hear her footsteps as she came out of the kitchen door. First I saw her. She hadn't changed being a vampire and all, but her eyes were way to dark for my liking. She had a bottle of windex in one hand and a rag in the other.

"Jasper. What is it that you need? I have to get these widows..." She trailed off when she looked up to see me.

She looked stunned at first but that turned into shocked when she relised who I was. I just stood there. Not knowing what I should do, but I was going to let her go first though.

"B... Bel...Bella...is...is it...?" I didn't know if she was going to get any more out so I took it was my turn to talk.

" Yes Esme. It me, Bella." I was going to go on but she stopped me. She dropped the bottle and the rag, and slowly walked up to me. Instantly she hugged me. And it wasn't a small hug either. She gave me the tightest hug, next to Emmett's, I had ever gotten. I returned her hug back after a second of hesatation. I really did miss them all. It was just so confusing! We pulled away from one another and smiled. "It's good to see you again Bella dear but... how on gods green earth are you a vampire?" Esme's voice was still shocked.

" Do you all mind if we wait till everyones here so I don't have to repeat myself ?" I _really_ didn't want anymore waterworks then nessacury.

" Not at all sweetheart. Carslie should be home in about half an hour. We can get settled in the living room to wait for him." With that, she pulled me into their living area and took are seats as Rosalie and Edward walked down the stairs to join us. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice all sat on the long couch while Esme sat on the love couch and I sat in one of the two chair. I looked around to see that I was basically the center of the room. Everyone talked amoung themselves, watching me from the courner of their eyes, while I looked around (trying to distrack me from looking at Edward who was staring at me with wondering eyes).

I couldn't get the fact that it was the same after all these years. Everything in the same spots. No dust. Always clean. It looked so unreal. I stopped looking around when I could hear a car pulling in the driveway, sooner then I was expecting. Esme got up and walked to the door to greet Carslie. I could hear him thinking about things about working at the hospital were just the same as very.

"Hello Dear. How was your day?" Esme asked. Her voice sounded so excited and Carslie cought it.

_'What got her so happy? She's been emotionless for so long like everyone. Just cleaning all the houses we've lived in or staring out the windows. What does she know that I don't?'_ Oh. he doesn't like not knowing something. Same Carslie.

"Fine dear. Same as always you could say. What has you so happy today?" He could resisted asking.

"Well... we have a visiter. She's here to see all of us." I could almost hear her jumping with impassionedly. "Come. She's in the living room with our childern." They start walking towards us and once again, I was hit with a wave of nervousness. Jasper's power couldn't work on me whlie I have my shield up so it was just me.

Seconds later Esme was standing beside the blonde headed doctor. Of course he looked the same except for the dark eyes. He would looked so tried if I didn't know he was a vampire. His childern greeted him with their hello's and it was my turn. Slowly, I stood up, keeping my eyes on him.

First, he looked confused then shock took over as he looked at my face. I gave him a small smile, like I had given Esme, then spook. "Hello Carslie," pausing for a moment then spook again with my arms open wide and a bigger smile to liv'in up this reunion, " Long time, No see?" That made Emmett, Alice and Jasper start to laugh and even a small chuckle from Rosalie.

Carslie just stood there stunned, like everyone else had, with wide eyes and mouth hung open slightly. I decided I should go to him because of that.

"Okay. Now, do you want a hug or, by the look on your face, to though me out of your house?" He snapped out of his state then and pulled me into his fatherly arms swiftly. He had always been like a father to me from the first time I came here but the thought of not having him there for me when I needed him hurt still. But standing here, hugging him, I couldn't help but to hug him back like I did with Esme.

I pulled away and saw a smile on his face but his eyes were sad. I didn't know why but I knew he would tell me whatever I needed to know right there.

" Bella. It's been to long. We've all missed you to no end. But I must know... How are you even here?" He said and sat on the love couch with his wife as I sat in the chair before.

"I missed all you too. And for your other question... it's a long story." I looked down at my folded hands preparing for the pain of my dead heart from my past to come. Breathing in deeply, I looked up, ready to start and get it over with.

Looking to the person in front of me, with his eyes on my face still as I started. " I'll start from after you left, alright?" I had to ask to skip what he had said to me. He cringed but nodded his head. Why had he cringed? It was my pain not his.

" Well, after Edward had left, I had to get away from the house. I didn't want to face Charlie and Renee with the pain I was feeling. So I ran deeper into the woods. Soon, I got myself lost and I didn't care. I needed to be alone but I wanted, more then anything I could ask for, was to fine you. To stop you from going. But it got darker and darker in what felt like only seconds and I couldn't see anything within centremeters from my face. I did, of course, end up falling a lot but I tripped over a root and hit my head on something. I didn't wake up until, what I've been guess, sometime in the afternoon. It had rained while I slepted but I didn't care that I was cold, wet and drity, I just wanted to sit and think of why you all would leave without saying goodbye."

I looked up to see them all looking down, dead quiet. I waited patiently to hear if they would explain. _' Why? Why had they lefted with no goodbyes? What were they hiding from me?'_

I looked over at Alice and knew if I asked in her head she would answer.

**Bella-**_ "Alice?"_

**Alice-**_"Bella? W-what! How are you in my head?"_

**Bella-**_" I'll explain later, But please Alice? Please tell me? I need to know. If I don't, I'm going to take it the wrong way. Please?"_

**Alice-**_" W-we lefted without saying goodbye... to you be-because... because... Edward told us... i-it would be easier... for you to forget us. So you would have a normal human life. I told him he was wrong! Now look at what we did to you! We've hurt you! I so sorry!"_, She said the last part fast.

**Bella-**_ " Thank you Alice. I really appreciate your honestly. I've been thinking it was something I did to all of you. Please don't feel sorry for me now or after I finish telling you all what's happened."_

She looked up at me then with a sad smile, rolling her eyes, " No problem but I should be the one thanking you, Bella. You've brought us together again. Even after what we did and here you're thanking me? You could never do anything wrong to make us leave." I couldn't help but smile at her. She had been my best friend and like a sister to me. And I couldn't have ask for a better one back then.

Everyone looked at her then me and back again thinking they were going carzy! Most of them were asking 'What the hell just happened?' in their heads. I tried not to laugh and so did Alice. Their faces were priceless!

"Alice and I were talking by using one of my powers. I'll tell you about that when it comes to that point in my story." I explained while they're facial expression changed from cunfused/scaried to relived. I was going to have to continue what happened to me if they wanted to know soon.

" Okay. So, while I was just thinking I felt like I was being watched." I looked up to see what their reactions were going to look like. They all had a straight face waiting for me to continue. " I looked up to see Victoria standing only feet away from me..." I watched as all their faces turn to anger. I continued before the questions started popping out of their mouths. " She wanted to know why I was in the woods, crying, and walked towards me. I just sat there knowing that I couldn't run, scream, or even fight to get a way from her. She asked where you all where and I knew she knew you were gone."

_'Now for the fun part.' _ I was quiet trying to get what I had to get out right before saying anything but Emmett interupted me and my thoughts.

" What did you say? Did she do this to you? Is she dead? If not ... I'M GOING TO KILL HER!" _'Of course he would. It's Emmett!'_

" Emmett." I said looking him dead in the eye, with a harsh tone. " You don't want to be **anywhere** near her. Let me finish before you go looking for trouble and getting yourself killed, okay?" He shut his mouth after that. Though, he really wasn't off that she was still alive.

" I told her that if she was going to kill me that she do it right there and then." I didn't dare look up to see their eyes of horror when I heard it all in their thoughts. " I know. I was stupid and an idiot but please understand that I didn't feel scared or frightened. I felt nothing. Emtey. But either I told her what I wanted to or let her kill me when I wanted to tell her off. I was angry-no, furious and I really didn't care what she did to me. All I could think about was that..." I trailed off knowing that if I said, _'All I could think about was that you all were safe far away from here.' _or _' How could they leave?'_ they would yell at how stupid I had been for trying to protect them even if they weren't there or upset that I had said that while they felt bad already.

" She said that she was going to changed me because I was the reason 'her James' was dead and she was more then happy to see me like that. So she changed me after almost draning me. After my change it got worst with her though." _'Now or never Bella'_ I told myself. Sucking in somemore air I started with what happened after.

" I got out of the woods just in case Charlie or anyone else came looking for me. I remembered every human moment I had for when she bit me to when I was atless three years old. I found out some of the powers I have, after six months of being on my own. I was immune to human blood for one. I think of it more of an ablity then a power. I went to see how Charlie was doing without me. And at first I thought he was fine. Till that night. I would watch after Charlie when he was sleeping and I found out he had quiet his job after not being able to find me. Yes, you could say I was stacking him but I thought of it as watching over someone who I had left alone. I found out the first night of watching him sleep, he would only get three hours of sleep and, that he would have dreams of finding me in the woods or somewhere but then it would turn into a nightmare of me dead or some remains of me." I could see the sorrow and pain on their faces.

" I watch him for a month or two at a time before going hunting. I went hunting one night that I regrate more then anything. I hear his thoughts of the red headed women in his living room and I ran to stop her." I was going to cry though the rest if I wasn't interupted. "I was to late and had to watch as Victoria finished off with Charlie. I couldn't move to even whisper a theart to her until the morning light came though the window. I cleaned up the mess to make it look like he'd died in his sleep and took off." I was staring at the floor, way to into this nightmare of a story. " I ran up north for a while and then meet the Denali Clan. They were nice to me and wanted me to stay a while. I stayed for two days until Victoria came and attacked them. I left them with their number and a promise to call when I could, and ran with Victoria on my tail. I did stop and she told me that she knew where the people I cared for lived and would kill everyone. I didn't want to be anywhere near her and she expected me to "be" part of her "coven". Please!," I hissed. "So I ran as fast as I could and end up hiding in a hotel room. But she, somehow, got a letter to me and said she would go after my mom."

" Renee had a baby boy a year after I disappeared and I didn't know until after she was dead. He had walked in at the wrong time and saw everything. Victoria ran with a smile and I tried talking to Ryan." I looked up to their faces. " Ryan was my mom's favourite boy name. I didn't know him for long though." I said looking down again. When I spoke again, they could hear my pain and sorrow and failure as I cried harder. " I had put him in his bed again after he fell asleep and went to clean up again. It was all my fault that Ryan would have to be an orphan somewhere if they would take an eight year old boy who lost both partents. I wasn't paying attention and when I went to get Ryan to leave... He was gone. I followed his scent to the the tree line by the ocean and..." I couldn't say any more. It was too much.

I didn't want to remember any of thoughs pictures but they came. My mother's neck in Victoria's hands... My mom's body on the floor not moving... Her body over Phil's... My little brother walking in on this... Him crying... And worse of all... His body on the beach... not moving. I shock my head trying to get rid of the memories and stop my sobs. The tears ran down my face and into my lap while I had my hands in my hair to try and hide the fresh water works. It didn't stop the sobs that fall out of my mouth and shock my body. I felt someone's arms rap around me and I looked up slowly. It was Esme and Alice was standing in front of me. I couldn't stop the tears and sobs for about ten minute and I wasn't even done the story yet! I looked back up at Esme and smiled sadly at her while Alice went ans sat down next to Jasper again.

" Thanks. And sorry about that. It's been awhile seens I've told this much out loud. Sorry about you shirt Esme." I said apologetically to them all.

" Nonsence Bella. You can cry all you want and ruin as many of my shirts as you like." Esme said in a motherly tone pulled me into another hug with a sad smile. It felt so good to get some of it all off my chest. She went and sat next Carslie again, after she knew I was fine, as he asked another question.

" Bella. You said earlier that you were immune to human blood and that that was one of you powers. What did you mean by that?" Carslie asked trying to change to subject. I was thankful for that.

" Yes. I do have more powers and some are a real pain in the butt. First I can read other peoples thoughts and I can also communicate with others too. That's what Alice and I were using before. I can also copy other vampire powers, though, I don't keep a lot. I only keeped the four elements. I got it for this guy that attacked me, but it comes in handy when you want to look like a camper who lost their backpack in the woods if humans come by." Carslie looked like he saw the smartest person in the world.

" You all can see I have some human in me still but I feel like it's fading with every decade or so. I also think that my tears are going to stick with me though, sadly, but I'm just guessing. I don't have any proff of that. Last but not less, and I don't know how to tell you this, but this answers your question earlier Jasper, I have a... ring blast shield." I looked around the room at all of their faces.

Jasper spoke uneasily. " What is a... ring blast shield, Bella? " And Emmett asked, in an excited voice, at the same time, " What does it do? What's it look like?" He was just the same. A child at heart.

" Well to answer your questions that are basically the same, it's a ring of fog when I want to show it or I can put it invisable. It can protect my mind and, if I consantrate, my body too. Or who every I want. I can also make a bubble out of the fog to make me protected from all angles. For an example. Jasper couldn't feel and can't feel my emotions, Alice wasn't able and can't 'see' my future, and I'm sure Edward can't hear my thoughts right now and earlier, corrected?"

"Yes." They all anwsered smoothly looking really uncomforble.

" Now if a turned my sheild off, you will be -"

" You can turn it off !? " Carslie asked amazed and proud like his child was saying something for the first time.

" Yes Carslie. I can for my other powers too. It took me a lot of time and consantration to be able too though. Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating that but that's another subject. As I was saying, you will be able to, Jasper, feel my emotions, Alice, see my future and, Edward, read my mind. And that has the same effected if I had my shield around someone else. If you want to we can try. It's up to you though." I said finishing to see want they wanted. I had some hope that they wouldn't want to though.

" We would love to Bella. " Alice said quickly bouncing in her seat while Edward and Jasper looked at one another and nodded at me.

" Okay. But I have to worn you that there are things you won't like." I told them before nodding myself and turning off my shield. There was three thing that happenedat once. First Jasper felt all of my emotions, from the little happyness I had in me now to the deep emptiness and pain, and feel to his knees in a second. Second Alice saw what was coming for me. And third, Edward gasped and saw the story I was telling them all about how Victoia found me and about Charlie, Renee and Ryan, While seeing Alice's visions. I was pulled into the her visions before I could trun my shield on again to stop all of it.

**START OF VISION**

_There I was, right in the chair I was sitting in, talking about how sorry I was when I stopped middle sentence and turned my head to their wall window. I could hear __**her**__. Victoria! Then I shot up and started talking again looking at them all quickly._

_" I am so sorry and I'm sorry I have to go before-" I stopped again and looked to the window again. There, at the edge of the forest tree line, was Victoria with two others standing on either side of her. They stood there watching me, me with the Cullens. I had to go!_

_She wasn't smiling at first until she saw my wide eyes staring at her and then to the Cullens then back again. Why did she have to come?! Could she not leave me alone for a year or two? The Cullens were going to be indanger because of me. Why was I being so stupid?..._

_...The next vision hit harder then the first one. I was crouching in for of Victoria's two minuns and I was arguing with the Cullens to run and go back inside but before I could finish the sentence one of the three was on top of me. I had to stop the vision NOW!_

_The scene keeped playing in front of my eyes as I pushed back to get to reality. The vision me through the vampire off me and got on my feet to stand in front of the Cullens again and in front of the others. Than I spoke to Victoria._

_" Victoria! Don't come any closer! I'm the one you want so you WILL leave them. If I go with you right now, The Cullens will NOT be harmed! Understand?!", I growled at her while the Cullens we're shouting no's at me. She smilied and shock her head no. I had to stop this from happening!..._

**END OF VISION**

I put my shield on quickly to stop Jasper's pain, Alice going into another vision and Edward from hearing my thought. He must have seen the vision too, being in my head and all. I opened my eyes to see Jasper getting up, breathing hard, and sitting back down next to Alice. I could see, from the couner of my eye, Edward's eyes on me and then on Alice who was staring at me. I had to go now! To protect their family. Unlike mine.

" I'm so sorry everyone. That was a mistake and I should g- " It was her! She was here already. My head turned to there window, like in the vision. I could hear her! _Dammit!_ I shouted in my head while I clenched my teeth together. I had to go. Had too!

I stood quickly, also like in the vision, and looked at them. " I am so sorry and I'm sorry I have to go before- " NOO! Just like before, Victoria walked though the trees and stared at me then the Cullens then smiled. I'm to late! I can still go and ran past them so they'll follow me. I had to try.

" I have to go, Goodbye everyone." I whispered before running out their back door to the yard and stopped about ten feet in front of Victoria in less than a second. She was going to follow if it was the last thing I did. I hear the Cullens at their window and I knew I had only seconds before they would be out here. I would have to make this fast. Looking at her gave my shivers and I spoke quickly in a growl.

" Come and fetch... Viki." I smiled at her, using her most hated nickname I could think of. First she growled back then her minuns moved forward and into a crouch. Now! And I took off running...

**Hey! What did you think? Too much? I know but I had to get some of Bella's story in. Sorry about the Cliffy though. I had WAY too much written here and I had to cut it somewhere. I'm thinking of putting up a poll but I'll let you now when I do. Also I'm thinking of changing this story to a rated M instead with what I think would fit into the story. Sorry if you don't like that. But let me know what you think. Thank you to all of you!**

**Review Please!!**

**Peace xoxox Emily (Mrs.E.A.Cullen-17)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry about the writer's block for the past few years. I've had a lots of things happen all in a really short span of time at the same time almost and it had affected me badly, but I'm back. That's no excuse though. I let all of you down in some way as well as myelf. I'm hoping to gain your trust back in the future if that is still possible. So once again, I am beyond sorry.**

**I still don't have a beta at this point but I'd like to so if you're interested, please e-mail me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for sticking it out and all. Now on to it!**

**Disclaimer: ****Stephaine Meyer own's the main charecters and the original plot that is Twilight. I just own this story line.**

**Please review!**

* * *

_**Last time...**_

_**" Come and fetch... Viki." I smiled at her, using her most hated nickname I could think of. First she growled back then her minuns moved forward and into a crouch. Now! And I took off running...**_

**Chapter 4**

I ran past them slowly first so they would see me and then, once I hear three pair of feet following, I ran faster towards the south for a good thirty minutes. Still listening to their foot steps behind me, With my shield off now, I turned to head northeast and towards Olympic. I could lose them in the city there even if it was ten at night.

As I ran I though about the Cullens. Yeah it was a bad idea, but I couldn't stop the thoughts of they being hurt because of me. I would hope that they would listen to my warning now. I didn't want them to die. I would also hope it wasn't something I would do to have them loss each other. Sooner then I thought, I could see the city and went faster towards it. I could hear people, couples, teens, and families, walking and having fun looking at the city's lights, the big buildings, and the people that lived there. Toures. Thank you god! There would be lots of them and they could be witenss. Perfect! I ran right into the city were there was an allyway and slowed to a human ran when I got to the enterence.

I walked quickly to a book store, that was across the road, knowing that they wouldn't follow there and that I was getting a lot of stares already. Once inside the store I made it look like I was looking for a book. I picked a random book off the shelf and looked out the window from the corner of my eye. They were standing in the ally still watching me but wouldn't go anywhere near the on passing people. They looked like some serial-killer-runaways from some horror movie to me, with their dirty, bare feet and tadered jeans while their shirts were torron like an animal went after them. The blood didn't help that matter. Not that they weren't serial-killers. They were. As they watched me though, they started backing to the end of the allyway before disappearing into the shadows.

I sighed heavely and closed my eyes. They better not go near the Cullens again because of me. If they did, it would be the last thing they did. I didn't realize, until someone taped my shoulder, that people, mostly males, were staring at me with lustful eyes. That and hateful glares coming from the jelious women. I looked at the blond haired boy standing next to me and played my parts.

" Yes?" I asked in an innocent voice.

" Umm...?" He looked losted for a good minute until he shock his head and continued. " Are you okay? Was there someone after you or something? " Nice kid. Smart too. For stepping back a foot.

" Oh! No. I'm fine. Just looking for a prestent for a friend. In a bit of a rush, but thanks anyway!" I finished with a smile, putting the book back and walked out of the store. Kids today should know better then to walk up to strangers. Especilly people like me. Even if it's there job to help customers. It started to quite down around one in the morning and I decided to go home.

When I was almost home, I thought, even though I lived next door, the Cullens wouldn't find out I was back home until they saw me at school. It was a cloudless night so it would be sunny tomarrow. A good time for a hunting trip and maybe some fighting time by myself. I maybe a vampire but I can still practice fighting when I was being hunted down by three vampire who wanted me to be in their coven or dead because of my powers, plus seven other vampires who (now) wanted more answers. What a way to come home too!

Once I broke through the woods, I walked slowly to and into my house. Locking the doors would be pointless when you and your hunters have super strength to open a locked door. What was the point in hiding when you know you'll be found? Was there really anyway to stop something you didn't want to happen? I didn't care right now but it would be nice to know anyway. So you could be comforted when your scaried for death to come and snach you up. It was just so frightening sometimes. Even for an inmortal like me.

I walked up my stairs to my room without turning light on. No reason to be found yet. I sat on my bed for a few seconds think about what I had done in the past and now. Why was _my_ life so screwed up? I've lost just about everything I everything I had and more. So why was I here instead of in the ground rotting away like I should be? I would loved to have _that_ answer. Signing, I stood and thought a good shower would help a bit. I turned on my 5 disc CD player and pushed play then repeat. Turning it up load so I would hear it in the shower, even with my good hearing. I walked to my bathroom, turning on the shower to a hot temperature, I stripped and walked in. Listening to Lisa Marie Presley's "S.O.B." thinking how my life was so similar to this first song. Dismissing the thought, I concentrated on the water running down my body.

The water wasn't as hot as it used to be to me. I wondered why. Was I was losing my human abilities? Why could I barely tell the difference between hot and cold, the different tasted of human food, or even the way the wind hit my face now? Why did I have to be so different in so many ways? Why couldn't I be freed from Victoria's threats of hurting the people I love so much? Just... Why? Why to so many questions and things in my life after I was changed... and before._ If I was still human I would have a headache by now. _I slowly washed my hair with the same strawberry shampoo I used to use when I was human. It was nice to have one thing that smelt the same instead of every scent in your own house. After rinsing my hair and finishing my shower I got out, rapping myself up in a small towel. It went from the middle of my thigh to the top of my breasts. No one was going to see me like this so no biggy, right?

_Aparantly not_, I thought as I walked out of my bathroom, stopping for the fact that there, sitting on my bed, was Edward. _Why was he here? I've got three vampires who want me in their coven or dead, more then willing to kill anyone who gets in their way, and he's sitting on my bed, in my house? Why the hell is he here?_

" I'm here to get some more anwser in privete and you forgot your things," He said looking up at the end to see me in just a towel. _Shit! Stupid pain in the ass shield. _I thought while quickly putting my shield up. I didn't need someone in my head right now. Let alone _him_. I would be beat red right now if I was human. I cleared my throut before talking.

" Thank you for bringing my things back. I had to get ried of some trash." I said pausing before giggle at the last part. It was so true but it felt weird to giggle. When did this feeling come from? I haven't laughed, let alone giggled, in so long.

He chuckled at that too. " Yeah, well, Alice saw you coming here to your house and not back to ours. So when no one was in the living room, I grabed your things and ran around the forest for awhile till I found this." He said looking around my room before looking back at me. I wanted so badly to walk over to him and kiss him but I knew I would hurt later. And he didn't want me like that anymore. He said so him self. I don't think I could live hearing it again.

" Anyway..." he said standing up, still looking at me. " I'll let you get dressed. I'll wait downstairs for you." And before I could answer him, my door closed behind him.

He always did that! Never letting me get an anwser in! He **always** had to have the last say! And it was completely ANNOYING! Not wanting to go down and meet the 'talk' head-on, he was going to have to wait. I got a black bra and panties set, a part of old white denim jeans with the rips and paired them with a black wife beater. I wasn't trying to impress anyone now. Defanally not Edward Cullen. I was over him. _Wasn't I?_ I had a right to be. He left, telling me he didn't love me. Not the other way around.

_You don't believe that. Now do you?_ God dammit! Stupid subconsices mind. Stupid right and wrongs. I couldn't even live (well to a point) without having second thoughts in my own head! With a sign, I turned my stereo, walked out my bedroom and down the stairs to the living room where Edward currently stood in the middle of the room. I knew he knew I was there so I kept my distance. Not wanting **any** side of me to over react. _He doesn't want you. He doesn't want you. He doesn't... God it hurt just thinking it! _I deafently couldn't hear him say it again. _Why ME!_

"So..." he said turning around to face me, "Living well I see." He once again looked around. After looking around the room, his eyes landed on my grand piano. He narrowed his eyes before asking " You have a piano? Do you play now?" Turning to look at me with a weird look.

"Edward, serisouly? I've lived for a hunderd and twelve years. What did you think I'd be doing? Sitting around and cross-stiching?"

Edward stood still, quietly looking out the window as if the answers to everything was just right outside. _'Well, I might as well just answer the damn questions he has. The sooner they're out, the sooner HE'S out and I'm alone once again.'_ Slowly, I went over to the end of the couch and sat as far from him as possible. All the while Edward stood where he was not answering me. I still waited but got no reply. Hating the silance that came from him I decided to just jump on into my own hell hole.

"So... What exectly do you want to know? I'm amazed that you're even interested. It's a little mind blowing." I said, sarcastically.

There was a slight pause before he started to talk. "How long have you lived here? This place... It's so close to the house. I don't know **how** ... how none of us noticed it here before." He responed in a hushed tone.

"I've lived here off and on through the last century. You might recall a little broken down cottage being in the area. Well, you're in the same spot, it's just a bit bigger and well used house now. I stayed in that little cottage when I was first changed, but after a while of seeing part of the world and then coming back to it, I wanted a home where it wasn't leaking rain or having to clean up animal shit. Not the funest thing to do when you just get home, you know? And as to the 'you all not noticing a big house, in the middle of no where, right next door?' Well... I may have something to do with that." I chuckled to myself.

Edward looking a little shocked and confused, asked, " What do you mean? Both things you said."

Sighing, " I mean..." Not intierly sure how to tell him, I paused to colect my thoughts. "This is my home, Edward. Forks is my home. Always has been, even when Renee took me with her. I came back here and all. Why wouldn't I live here when I can. As to the house it self, think about what my powers Edward. What is it that I can do?" I said, raising an eyebrow at him.

Edward stood still, watching me, while going over everything I had told him and his family early. When he remember the previously conversation, I could see the realization, shock and awe in his eyes.

"You-your shield. You hide it? But-? Even when you weren't here?" He asked shocked.

"Yep. I couldn't have stray vamps or humans coming a cross it. That would be pretty hard to explain around here, don't you think?"

"But-Are you really that strong? I mean... How can you have so many powers as it is **and** be able to use them all from, what? Thousands of miles away? I just- I can't even think of how that's possible!"

"Really? I was a freak when I was human. Why wouldn't I be one now? I mean not everyo-"

" You were never a freak, Bella! I don't know how many times I have to-"

"Hey! You asked! I'm just anwsering you questions. I could be doing hundreds of other things right now and YOU'RE INTERUPING ME!" I yelled as he started to do it again.

We spend a few minutes staring at one another. He was thinking of a way to finish what he was saying before while I glared at him, darning him to interupe me again. Finally he sighed and waved his hand for me to continue with what I had been say.

"Thank you. As I was saying... Not everyone would have been able to handle the fact that you were a vampire. Hell, if the town had found out, they'd have probally done what people did in the old, old days. Pich forks and torches. Not that it would do them any good. I can see my dad with them even." I said shaking my head at the thought before going on, "I don't really know why I'm like this. I just am. But before this," I waved my hand towards the room and myself, "I wasn't... well more like couldn't, do anything. I had to pratice whenever I noticed something different about myself.

You wouldn't know how hard it's be trying to control all them at once, trying so hard not to hurt anyone miles away from me let alone close by. Hell! I'm still trying to work out and prefect some kinks. Just my shield alone is hard to push away. It's more easier to just keep it up but I can't because it's a pain in my ass!"

"Why is that? Y ou did a pretty incredible thing at the house earlier. You stopped it from getting to out of hand." All the while he's talking, I'm laughing darkly.

"Are you kiding me right now, Edward? You were there. You heard what I'd thought, Alice saw just about everything that could happen to me in the future. All the decidions that I haven't made up my mind on and there are lots of things I haven't decided on. And Jasper. I feel the most sorry for him. It's bad enough that I have to feel what I feel all the time, but for him... Edward, my emotions are based off of when you all left to that moment. Do you have any idea what that would feel like? I try so hard to keep my emotions form myself, but for Jasper..." I trailed off letting what I had said sink in.

"I'm the reason you heard what I heard and saw. I'm the reason Alice saw what she saw for my undecided future. And I'm the reason Jasper felt want I felt. All of that are things I try to hide from myself in myself. Locked away...Unless I feel shocked or frightened or even when I don't want to remember, I do. And that's one of the hardest things I've learnt since I've been forever frozen in time."

Edward was silence for a long time after I spoke. Behind him I could see the sky was slowly lightening and I could hear the birds waking and singing they're morning songs. _'had we really talked though the night? I know it was late when I got back from Olympic but...'_ I sighed. He had said that he missed sleeping a long time ago. _'I know exactly how he felt then.'_

Suddenly, Edward moved and basically fell into the chair that was now next to him and sighed. Running him hands thoughout him hair, while resting his elbows on his knees. He was quiet again. This time though, the silence keep on till the sun was above the horizon. I didn't want to brake the silence again because I knew that everything I had said was a lot and I could feel that he needed to absorb it all before he said anything. All the While I watched him. I tried to see why I couldn't stop the feelings I was now feeling and why I had felt them long ago. _'What was it about him? What was it that pulled me to him? Then and now? Why was it that I could never be enough for him? Why couldn't I have been different? Why couldn't I change the unchagible? Just why did he stop loving me? Did he ever even love me? He had said the three words often. Hell! More then often. But he stop... Was it because I wasn't good enough for him?'_ I'd had that thought before but I could never find the answer in myself. No matter how far and deep I looked, I never found the answers I needed. _'Would he give them to me? Would he give me what I need to move on and past what was the past?'_

"I just..." Edward starting to talk broke my trail of thought.

"What?" I asked quietly, knowing he'd hear me.

I just wish that I'd...I'd-" He said, cutting off quickly again.

I had a quick flashback to when I had been hurt by James. It was blurry but I remember how he'd always say it was his fault that I was hurt or if I fell and cut myself when he wasn't there, it was his fault somehow. It pissed me off to think he was thinking that way again. I wasn't there for anything, so how in gods name could it be he's fault?

" You'd what? Wished you could save the day? Wished that you could have provented what had happened from happening? Because if that's the case, you might as well leave now instead of feeling so guilty over everything that's happened to me in the past! What's done, is done, Edward! And there isn't a chance in the world for any of use to talk anything back now!" I finished off steaming and standing in front of him. _'When did I get up and move near him?'_ I wonder, confused as to just that question. Deciding that it could be only one thing that I could blame my actions on, I just wanted to scream_' STUPID PULL!'_ Damn. I need to pay more attention to my control. I had a bit of a temper now. _'Not that I didn't when I was human...'_

Looking up at me now Edward repiled, "No. I was going to say I wish I hadn't left in the first place to keep you safe from what I was. Or that I'd come back when I felt like I couldn't take being away from you for so long, instead of fighting with myself on right and wrong as while as everyone. I made all of us suffer a great deal."

I moved back from him. _'Did he mean it? Did he really just leave because he wanted me to be safe from him? From what he was? What I am now and have be for over a hundred years? Could he...?'_ Still moving away from him slowly, I watched his face, his eyes and tried hard to find the lie in his words. _' Where was the lie? The words he'd said years ago now? The words he just said now?'_ I sat back in the spot from before, trying and failing to find words. For several minutes I sat, staring at him going over everything he said today and years before, comparing them to one another. All the while watching him for... What?A _'"Gotcha!" would fit right in after it all but...'_ Edward sat in the chair watching me go over everything he'd said and find the truth of his words.

'_Was his words now the lie or... was it the words from a far ago time? Which was the truth and which was the lie of my life?...'_

**To Be Continued...**

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**I know it's too soon for this part but you'll see why as this goes on. Please review and let me know what you think of it.**

**~Emily~~Mrs.E.-17~**


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